Earlier this week, presidential hopeful Nikki Haley decided to alienate basically everyone in the country by suggesting all social media accounts be forced to display their users’ real, legal names. It went about as well as expected for the former South Carolina governor legally named Nimarata Nikki Randhawa Haley; observers of all political stripes found the bipartisan bonhomie to savage the proposal, which she walked back in a matter of hours.

Haley and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis are currently fighting over who gets to be the Republican presidential nominee if Donald Trump starts choking to death on a luau pig and no industrial hydraulic presses are available to give him the Heimlich. And so they’ve found themselves in a little squabble over Haley’s proposal, because attacking fellow hopefuls Asa Hutchinson or Doug Burgum would be a bit like standing on the side of the interstate screaming talking points at roadkill.

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