In a recent episode of The New Abnormal podcast, Mary Trump, Donald Trump’s niece and the author of Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man, said Princess Ivanka, the rotten apple of Donald Trump’s sallow, bloodshot, rheumy eye, is far more likely to flip on The Donald than Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg, who is up to his cheesy mustache in legal troubles, thanks to a few fringe benefits gobs of extra pay he received tax-free.
Up until now, the most stunning betrayal I’ve ever witnessed was when Meat Loaf sold Gary Busey’s brain to the Johns Hopkins Department of Neuroscience on an episode of Celebrity Apprentice. Or maybe it was Celebrity Masterchef. All I remember is Gary Busey’s brain sitting on a cold slab with a bunch of people sitting around a table gawking at it. Might have been an episode of The View, come to think of it.
Anyway, whatever happened, it would no doubt pale in comparison to the drama that would ensue if Mary Trump is right about the likeliest of Trump family flippers: Vanky shivving her own father to save her alabaster, over-exfoliated skin.
“If there are two sets of books for Allen, there are two sets of books for other people. And I think we’re also going to find that in these millions of pages of documents there will be more evidence,” Trump said.
“So either they’re not going to be solely relying on Allen Weisselberg to flip because either there’s documentary evidence of Donald’s direct wrongdoing or there will be other people who might be more willing to flip than Allen. And I think among those might well indeed be my cousins,” she continued.
Her cousins. Hmm, that’s tantalizing. Though somehow I don’t think she means Tiffany and Barron. Who would be the most likely to go rogue, then? Well, probably the one with the most to lose and whose situation most resembles Weisselberg’s.
Noting the blockbuster report in The New York Times last September that detailed Trump’s “chronic losses” and “years of tax avoidance,” Mary Trump drew a straight line between Trump’s favorite kid’s legal vulnerability and Weisselberg’s.
“She’s much less likely to stay loyal than Allen Weisselberg,” Mary Trump said. “I think Ivanka has, one, more to lose, and, two, more to hang onto. Her husband’s family is legitimately very wealthy.”
Of course, Mary Trump isn’t the only one who sees the danger Ivanka is in. In this interview with CNN’s Jim Acosta, author and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Michael D’Antonio notes that Ivanka could be in some very deep shite:
D’ANTONIO: “The other person who I think is in peril is Ivanka Trump. One of the things that Allen Weisselberg is in trouble for is taking money as a contractor and then claiming self-employed status so that he can get some of the retirement benefits that the tax code allows for self-employed people. Well, we know that Ivanka Trump got quite significant sums paid to her as nonemployee compensation. That freed the Trump Organization from paying part of her taxes, and it put her in a status that I think the IRS would have lots of questions about. So these folks don’t know how to play the game straight. I think everything they do is crooked.”
Everything? You mean Trump Steaks weren’t actually the greatest steaks in the history of the world? People didn’t learn how to become billionaires at Trump University? You don’t say.
It’s hard to imagine what Trump will do if his dear daughter flips, but needless to say, my internal schadenfreude thermostat would be in danger of breaking. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. It would be a damn shame.
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