Matt Gaetz, who’s being investigated for human trafficking, wants Kyle Rittenhouse as his intern

Matt Gaetz, who’s being investigated for human trafficking, wants Kyle Rittenhouse as his intern

When you are under investigation for multiple crimes including narcotics use, hiring escorts, and human sex trafficking minors, you can go one of two ways: You can turns the state’s evidence and hope your punishment will be mitigated as a result, the way that Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz’s old buddy Joel Greenberg is doing; or you can lean into your denial of reality like a truly unrepentant narcissist, and hope that the corrupt world you’ve had a privileged position in your whole life retains its structure and releases you.

Gaetz has chosen the latter. Gaetz has never had to reckon for his bad behaviors as a result of having a very wealthy and politically powerful father and does not plan on doing anything different now. And like most of the new breed of GOP politician these days, Gaetz’s entire policy platform consists of performing racist and seditious theater while hoping that if and possibly when fascists take over, he won’t end up against the wall. On Thursday, Gaetz went to Newsmax to speak with fellow angry bloviator Grant Stinchfield. 

Gaetz came on to talk about the “double standard” in our justice system. No, not the actual double standard in our justice system, but a make-it-up one. Guess what it is? These Jan. 6 insurrectionists, like the QAnon mascot Jacob Chansley, are being persecuted by Democrats. 

The QAnon mascot just received a 41-month sentence for his well-documented crimes on Jan. 6. Gaetz, who works at the bottom of the barrel with only the lowest common denominator in mind at all times, tells Newsmax’s audience that “this QAnon shaman is like a relatively harmless, non-violent vegan” in comparison to the “BLM and antifa rioters” who “burned our cities.” People like Eric Garner, killed for selling “loose cigarettes,” are a big meh for Gaetz and Stinchfield, it seems.

Stinchfield lauds Gaetz for being one of a handful of truly despicable representatives (Stinchfield name checks Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert as well) speaking out about how the people who attempted to overthrow our democratically elected president are somehow “patriots.”

Stinchfield proceeds to allow Gaetz some blather time where he basically tells the Newsmax audience that down is up and white is black before bringing it all back to the Kyle Rittenhouse trial. Stinchfield, along with Rittenhouse’s defense team, believes that this is a case that is putting the right to “self-defense” on trial. The fact of the matter is, regardless of whether or not you believe Rittenhouse is innocent or guilty of the charges against him, the trial’s judge alone has given the world a real demonstration of our country’s judicial “double standard.” 

Gaetz, like all bratty white kids who do shitty things but are never found guilty of anything, says Rittenhouse is not only innocent, he’s Matt Gaetz material! “He is not guilty. He deserves a not guilty verdict and I sure hope he gets it because you know what? Kyle Rittenhouse would probably make a pretty good congressional intern. We may reach out to him and see if he my be interested in helping the country in additional ways.”

Yes, the guy who is alleged to have murdered three protesters and is also suspected of being the kid in this video seen sucker-punching a girl in the head from behind would be the perfect candidate to intern in Rep. Matt Gaetz’s D.C. office. Considering what we know about Gaetz, it seems like Rittenhouse would be a perfect fit.

Warning: It’s Matt Gaetz talking for about four minutes.

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