The QAnon conspiracy cult, whose venn diagram with the MAGA crowd is almost in eclipse, is as wide-ranging a conspiracy theory as exists in the modern era. The more simple conspiracies concerning a Jewish cabal of secret bankers who drink children’s blood controlling the universe has given way to a network of secret pedophile rings—they also drink children’s blood—liberals, deep state officials, JFK assassins, fake JFK assassinations, and of course… a cabal of Jewish bankers secretly controlling the universe and harvesting “adrenochrome” from children’s blood.
The fact that every day a new QAnon acolyte turns out to be a registered sex offender, and every right-wing misinformation fantasy continues to make its way into a modern conspiracy theory that began with the assertion that President John F. Kennedy was killed because he wanted to end the escalation of war into Vietnam, seems not to ring a bell for the people who want to believe in Q. Not a single thing that “Q” supposedly promised has come to pass, but this fact and facts of all kinds have not been able to shake enough people free to end this intellectually vacuous pastime from continuing to morph.
One of the twists and turns of Q is the theory that has developed that John F. Kennedy, Jr. did not really die in a plane crash and has been hiding in plain sight and is waiting to lead a revolution. The guy that some QAnon believers think is JFK Jr. shows up at events looking very unlike JFK Jr., but that doesn’t matter. In fact, right now there is reportedly a large group of folks collecting in Dallas, Texas’ Dealey Plaza—the location of John F. Kennedy’s assassination on Nov. 22, 1963. Why are they there?
According to reporter Steven Monacelli, they are there to see the late John F. Kennedy, Jr., who died in a plane crash off of Martha’s Vineyard, MA, in the summer of 1999, speak.
The QAnon conspiracy theory has crawled out of the internet and into reality. Like a virus, the QAnon nonsense has spread unchecked through real bodies and is now supported by what were once considered reasonable actors. Many QAnon adherents are elected officials in our government. You don’t have to wear silly outfits or paint your face and call yourself a “shaman” to be a part of this caravan of ludicrosity. People who are technically functional members of society—albeit completely ridiculous for their general lack of sense—including Allen West, Rep. Louie Gohmert, and disgraced former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, are all making money and speaking at QAnon-heavy functions.
Since all conspiracy theories end with some sort of eschatological reckoning wherein the boogeymen (and… I guess HIllary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?) takes control of the world, having a bunch of criminals who want to turn the United States into an oligarchy pulling the wool over conspiracy theorists’ eyes to cover their own corruption isn’t a surprise. In fact, Robert Kennedy Jr. has made his career as a pharma conspiracist, anti-vaxx hoodwinker who has sued the Daily Kos in a blatant attempt to stifle free speech, and more specifically, expose the ways in which Robert Kennedy, Jr.’s movement is aligned with neo-Nazi right-wing groups in Europe.
So when you wonder how conspiracy theorists following the catastrophically incoherent and logically preposterous belief that the wealthy Kennedy family is somehow behind, lying in wait, to lead some Donald Trumpian revolution, you just need to look at Robert Kennedy Jr. While he may not espouse any of the QAnon beliefs, he has aligned himself with a version of anti-establishment politics, that is unwilling to see the most obvious conspiracy of money, power, and corruptions in our government and services, and, instead, created a lucrative economy of chasing ghosts that cannot be caught. All this, in a movement that doesn’t have any real actionable political economy other than a vague nihilism that is easily exploited by an autocratic-minded wealthy class.
Trying to parse out the details of this expansive conspiracy theory is a labyrinthian endeavor. Part of the reason for that is, like all conspiracy theories, the dots are connected only by long leaps in logic. The space between those leaps allows for all kinds of other dots to get connected, and before you know it … JFK, Jr. is alive and he is this guy.
Now, VICE reports that some of this new theory, like all modern American eschatology, takes from the best: supply-side conservative Christianity. A QAnon influencer, Whiplash347, who has almost a quarter-million followers, told his audience that Trump is soon to be reinstated as the 18th president of the United States. Eighteen sound strange to you? Maybe you are something of a history buff and realize that, technically, Ulysses S. Grant was the 18th president. According to the QAnon folks, the country went off the rails after super-bigot Andrew Johnson was impeached. Yes, even the QAnon origin story is classic white supremacist bullshit.
Whiplash347 continues that Trump will then step down, and John F. Kennedy Jr., who died in a plane crash in 1999, will become president “like he would of if it wasn’t for Killary plotting to kill him.” Joining JFK Jr. as vice president will be disgraced former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn.
At this point, Trump will ascend to “become 1 of the 7 new Kings. Most likely the King of Kings.”
Another theory is that John F. Kennedy, the one who was killed in Dealey Plaza over 60 years ago, will also show up, along with Jackie Onassis, and their son Jr., and then do a messianic bloodline thing where they anoint Donald Trump. Naturally, zombie JFK, Jr. becomes Vice-president. In this theory, JFK would now be 104 years old.
Oh yeah, and while you may have thought the image of Vincent Fusca above was secret JFK, Jr., there are competing theories on that.
This isn’t the first—or even the second!—time QAnon believers have predicted a return of JFK, Jr. to the public eye. Since 2019, various MAGA/Trump/QAnon fans have been working themselves into a lather about Trump being the messiah and convincing each other that JFK, Jr. would somehow want anything to do with Donald Trump if he were alive. I guess the thinking is that God tried out the Jewish worker’s kid from Palestine, and has now decided that the best messenger is that born-rich loser, who has spent most of his life’s energy trying to get on television in order to be a celebrity and sitting on literal gold toilets. Oh yeah, after God got this new David elected into office without winning the popular vote, he cut taxes on the rich and mostly played golf.
Maybe the Kennedys will show up tonight at Dealey Plaza. You know, to speak from… the grassy knoll? Part of me hopes they show up, turn to the audience, and say “You’ve been had.”
And, because that was a lot, here’s something to clean the palate.
It seems that none of the Kennedys have shown up and the event has begun to break up due to rain.
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