Our Illustrious Overlord Dark Brandon of the House of Biden, protector of the 50 states, breaker of chains, father of dragons, rider of bikes, double-fister of ice cream, is on a roll lately. And, much like every Italian salad Donald Trump has been served since he started running for president, he’s full of piss and vinegar. (I’m joking, of course. Trump doesn’t eat salads.)
At a Democratic National Committee meeting in Forest Heights, Maryland, on Thursday, Lord Brandon did everything but Force-choke Rep. Lauren Boebert and pulverize Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s home planet with Jewish space rays.
And, holy hell, I’m here for it.
Peep this, yo:
BIDEN: “We also passed a once-in-a-generation investment in our nation’s roads, highways, bridges, railroads, ports, airports, water systems, high-speed internet. We got a little help from Republicans. Not a lot, but enough to get it passed. But the truth is, there were a lot more Republicans taking credit for that bill than actually voted for it. I see them out there: ‘And now we’re going to build this new bridge here. We’re all for it. And by the way, this new road. And we’re going to have an internet that’s going to be all […]’ I love it, man. They ain’t got no shame. They don’t have any shame.”
Nice. And totally accurate, naturally.
Of course, pointing out Republican hypocrisy is actually somewhat easier than shooting fish in a barrel. It’s more like shooting fish at a Red Lobster. But hey, it has to be done. And somehow President Biden managed to do it without mocking any disabled people or suggesting that his followers murder his political rivals.
Uncle Dark Brandon also pointed out many of the things his administration and his razor-thin congressional majority have managed to accomplish in less than two years in spite of the GOP’s monolithic wall of obstruction.
BIDEN: “Look, hear — hear this, America: Every single Republican voted against lowering prescription drug costs — every one, every one; against lowering health care costs — every one; against tackling the climate crisis — every one; against lower energy cost; against creating good-paying jobs; against a fairer tax system — every single one. Now every single American needs to return the favor and vote them out of office.”
Amen. And praise be to our Eternal Lord of Darkness and Dandelions.
More of this, please. (Actually, if you want to see more, you can read the official transcript of the speech at WhiteHouse.gov. Or check out this series of clips.)
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
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