Big Kentucky rally starring Pillow Man and Mike Flynn promised 10,000 attendees. It drew … 300

Big Kentucky rally starring Pillow Man and Mike Flynn promised 10,000 attendees. It drew … 300

Well, you know, 300 Spartans held off Xerxes’ forces at Thermopylae in 480 B.C., so maybe these goobers can make a stand with their meager phalanx of befuddled cheese bread receptacles.  

Then again, if you’re expecting 10,000 enthused MAGA mites and only 300 show up, maybe it’s finally time to fold the denim tent you’ve kept propped up for the day of Donald Trump’s triumphant return.

Organizers of the conservative “We the People Reunion” rally in Muhlenberg County, Kentucky, were expecting 10,000 patriots for their Sept. 10-11 event, but according to WFIE-TV in nearby Evansville, Indiana, only 300 showed up.

The event, featuring disgraced former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn and Satan’s mustachioed asshole/barmy pillow tycoon Mike Lindell, was held at the Muhlenberg County Agriculture and Convention Center. And while there were presumably livestock stalls available for much more expansive crowds, attendance disappointed.

Fewer than 300 were at the event when 14 News arrived. 14 News was allowed in the parking lot to shoot some video, but was later asked to leave the fairgrounds.

Any attempts made to speak with local leaders and event organizers have been denied. 14 News did speak with a group of women who fear that such a large event is dangerous during a pandemic.

“People are getting sick and they’re dying,” Powderly resident Rhonda Wood said. “Friends of ours, people we know, and we haven’t been able to stop it. We’ve tried, we’ve pleaded, we’ve sent requests – done whatever we could.”

Event organizers said they expected to have over 10,000 people at the KY Fairgrounds for a rally with Michael Flynn, Mike Lindell and Pastor Greg Locke today. Fewer than 300 showed up. pic.twitter.com/iSZPOE3GBb

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) September 12, 2021

Such a shame. By the way, here’s how they promoted the event:

The Biggest Patriot Rally Of The Year – A True Reunion Of We, The People, combining the biggest names in the conservative patriot movement including Gen. Flynn, Lin Wood, Candace Owens, Mike Lindell, and many others along w/top notch Christian & Country Music Entertainment! Simply put: This will be THE ‘Event Of The Year’ for American Patriots!

And in case those speakers aren’t kooky enough for ya, I believe I saw prominent anti-vaxxer doctor Simone Gold pictured on the promo site as well. Because conservatives these days love nothing quite so much as easily preventable deaths. Of people, that is. If you’re a grain-sized embryo, they’ll pull out all the stops for you. So if you’re currently a zygote, you may want to hunker down in Mama’s womb until the antediluvian nut jobs are done culling their herd. I’ll be honest, it could be awhile.

Hopefully the MAGA dead-ender crowds will continue to dwindle and we’ll be able to return to those halcyon days when Republicans were merely dangerous assholes and not a loose association of roving, ultra-zealous death squads.

I won’t hold my breath. Unless I’m within 6 feet of a red cap, that is. In that case, holding your breath is just common sense.

It made comedian Sarah Silverman say, “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT,” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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