E. Jean Carroll is ready for her day in court with Donald Trump: ‘I think of it every day’

E. Jean Carroll is ready for her day in court with Donald Trump: ‘I think of it every day’

Donald Trump’s lawyers argued for years that he couldn’t be sued because he was kinda-sorta president or something. Apparently you don’t actually have to do the job to retain the title. It’s like if you were the curly fry guy at Arby’s and all you did all day was eat the customers’ orders. You’re technically still the fry guy, but all you’re really doing is getting in the way of other people’s lunch.

That was Trump’s presidency, essentially. He used his office as a cudgel and a shield, but when it came time to address actual crises, he was like a Navy SEAL who couldn’t resist lighting his farts during covert missions. But, hey, he got a lot of attention, didn’t he?

Well, it looks like he might get some more soon because, in case you hadn’t heard, he’s not president anymore.

The Supreme Court decided Monday that they were high court justices and not mob assets on the Trump payroll—clearing the way for the release of the tax returns Trump jealously guards like Jeffrey Dahmer guarded his refrigerator. Soon after, this fun little Reuters story dropped into my lap.

Author and journalist E. Jean Carroll has been waiting for her day in court ever since Trump’s legal team argued the former pr*sident was too weighted down with important papers (i.e. Filet-O-Fish wrappers) to be sued. And she’s hoping that day comes soon. 

Her lawyers are seeking to depose Trump in a defamation lawsuit that Carroll filed against the former president in November 2019 after he denied her accusation that he raped her at a Manhattan department store in the mid-1990s. Trump said he never knew Carroll and accused her of lying to sell her new book, adding: “She’s not my type.” […]

“I am living for the moment to walk into that room to sit across the table from him,” Carroll told Reuters in an interview. “I think of it every day.”

I can’t say I think of Carroll’s case every day; there are a lot of cars on the careening comeuppance caravan to focus on. But given Trump’s aggressive misogyny and wide-ranging sociopathy, a ruling against him in this particular lawsuit would be pretty sweet.

Carroll attorney Roberta Kaplan is confident the case will move forward, now that the ocher suzerain has been tossed from his throne room. “I think there will be a sense among the judges that it’s time to get a move on in these cases,” Kaplan told Reuters.

Oh, and in case you forgot, there’s probably DNA. 

When Carroll filed her lawsuit later in 2019, her lawyer, Kaplan, had a guard escort her to retrieve the dress from her closet for forensic testing. An analysis concluded no semen was found on the dress, but the DNA of an unidentified male was detected on the shoulder and sleeves, according to the Jan. 8, 2020 lab report, which was reviewed by Reuters.

Well, isn’t that interesting?

Of course, Carroll isn’t the only one suing Trump for defamation over one of his serial sexual assault denials. Summer Zervos, a former contestant on The Apprentice who accused Trump of sexual assault in 2016, is waiting in the wings as well. 

Let’s hope Trump experiences his own 500 days of Summer. And of Carroll. And of the Southern District of New York.

Now that he’s not pretending to be president anymore, he should have plenty of time to face the music/cacophony.

”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing via TwitterNeed a thorough Trump cleanse? Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear F*cking Lunatic, Dear Pr*sident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out. Click those links, yo!

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