Melania claims she was unaware of raging Jan. 6 coup because she was photographing a rug

Melania claims she was unaware of raging Jan. 6 coup because she was photographing a rug

If there’s any advantage to being married to Donald Trump, it would have to be developing the ability to at least occasionally tune him out. It’s quite a skill because, even at his most genteel, Trump sounds like a herd of shaved emus drowning in a tub of Lestoil. Whatever else you want to say about him, Trump knows how to suck the oxygen out of a room—before eventually replacing it with CO2, nitrogen, trace noble gases, and the bleached bones of untold thousands of Costco rotisserie chickens.

So in a weird sort of way, I actually envy Melania Trump. She’s tuned out her husband so effectively that she didn’t even know what he was up to on Jan. 6, 2021. All she knew was that he was playing president with his creepy friends again. As for the specifics? Eh. Who knows? She was taking pictures of a rug.

CNN:

Former first lady Melania Trump said in a new interview with Fox that she was “unaware” of the ongoing riot on January 6, 2021, because she was too busy photographing a rug in the White House.
 

“On January 6, 2021, I was fulfilling one of my duties as First Lady of the United States of America, and accordingly, I was unaware of what was simultaneously transpiring at the US Capitol Building,” she said.
 
Trump said it was her “duty” as first lady to archive the contents of the White House, which is not exactly true. The White House curator and the White House Historical Association are predominantly responsible for keeping a record of the contents of the official White House collection.

Yeah. That’s a little, erm, hard to believe. Meanwhile, Jared Kushner says he was taking a shower during the coup. Which seems, I don’t know, a bit weird. It’s almost as if Trump’s behavior on Jan. 6, 2021, didn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary to the people who know him best.

As Melania told Fox, she was far too busy with her own shit to be aware of any violent, husband-incited coups that were transpiring in the city she lived in at the time.

“As with all First Ladies who preceded me, it was my obligation to record the contents of the White House’s historic rooms, including taking archival photographs of all the renovations,” she said. “Several months in advance, I organized a qualified team of photographers, archivists, and designers to work with me in the White House to ensure perfect execution. As required, we scheduled Jan. 6, 2021, to complete the work on behalf of our nation.”

Of course, this lends some interesting context to Melania’s infamous Jan. 6 text exchange with her former chief of staff, Stephanie Grisham. If Melania really didn’t know what was going on, maybe she can be forgiven for this almost supernatural feat of indifference:

pic.twitter.com/PQXLSsv6IJ

— Stephanie Grisham (@OMGrisham) June 28, 2022

Then again, if your employee texts you out of the blue asking you to denounce violence and lawlessness, you’d think you might want to ask what the fuck she was talking about. Just a thought. And knowing her husband as she no doubt does, she should have at least checked the White House baby monitor to get a sense of what Captain CoupPants was up to. “Oh, Donald’s out with his coup friends again. He should be back before dinner. We ordered a luau pig from Instacart and if he doesn’t fully skeletonize it within the first three hours, it starts to get cold.”

Of course, a cynic might say that it was incumbent upon Melania Trump, as the first lady of the United States of America, to maybe talk her goofy husband off the ledge.

Then again, rugs are pretty important, too …

Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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