Rubio to hold event with coup plotter Trump, and Republicans are tittering about who’s not invited

Rubio to hold event with coup plotter Trump, and Republicans are tittering about who’s not invited

Donald Trump, a traitor, will be holding a Miami rally for Florida Republican Sen. Marco Rubio on Nov. 6, just two days before Election Day. You might think that the biggest news here is that Marco Rubio remains so eager to ally with the orchestrator of a violent attempted coup against our government, a coup that led to deaths and could well have led to the deaths of many of Rubio’s own supposed colleagues. Is that the Republican’s closing message, then? An alliance with a seditionist who attempted violent insurrection and a traitor who stole national security secrets for his own personal gain?

You’d think that, but the big news appears to be not the news that Marco Rubio is willing to stand on stage with a the orchestrator of an attempted violent coup, but the news that the Ron DeSantis camp is taking this as a super big snub because Donald didn’t invite him along. Yeah, that’s where we’re at. The Republican Party’s top traitor is holding a get-together and Republican suck-ups are falling over each other to score an invite.

It is Politico, of course, that brings us this news. “Some people within DeSantis’ orbit” are apparently “angered” over the “apparent snub” of Trump holding a Florida rally without inviting Florida’s governor and top Trump impersonator. It is an “elbow to Ron’s throat,” says an anonymous DeSantis ally who really shouldn’t be giving us such pleasant visuals to work with.

The snub was almost certainly intentional, however. Gov. Ron DeSantis has been engaged in all sorts of state-sponsored performance art intended to boost his national status in preparation for an all-but-certain presidential bid. Donald Trump, however, believes that the next Republican presidential nomination already belongs to him and is reportedly seething that DeSantis is daring to challenge him. It probably doesn’t help that DeSantis, who suffers from a rare medical condition called Not Having A Human Soul, has been transparently mimicking many of Donald Trump’s speech and posture tics in an attempt to pantomime a personality.

The two of them onstage together would at this point be a hell of a sight, as each tried to accordion-hands their way through their speeches while leaning forward and holding their arms at the weird angle Donald uses to puff himself up. It’s probably best for both of them to avoid being seen together—and at this point, Donald might be getting concerned that Ron has some sort of Face Off-inspired scenario planned for him, and that his surrounding Secret Service agents might go along with it just to be rid of him.

So there you go; that is today’s big Republican Party story. Not the part where Marco Rubio is willing to ally himself with a seditious traitor responsible for blood in the Capitol if it means Marco can scape up a few more votes on Election Day, but the part where other Republicans are fretting that they’re not getting to hang out with the treasonous secret-stealing crapsack so that they too can benefit from a smearing of treason-grease. They’re quite put out about it. Very peeved.

It’s going to be tough to get back in Trump’s good graces, governor. Perhaps you can steal some national security documents that he would find valuable? Perhaps Jared and Ivanka need to be bailed out of some new debt crisis? It goes without saying that Trump will hate anyone who even looks like they might challenge his rightful place as his party’s dominant coup-plotting traitor, so your own political ambitions will have to be abandoned.

You can look to Marco Rubio for guidance, if you like. Marco hasn’t just given up every shred of integrity: Marco gave it up the first time Trump asked it of him, and every time Trump asked it of him. That’s allowed Marco to orchestrate an on-stage handshake, just a few days before he election, with the man responsible for the only violent attack on American democracy since the Civil War. Just two big ol’ seditionist traitors, waving to a crowd of the hateful and the paranoid.

What a shame. Perhaps the DeSantis camp can come up with a countering event that appeals to the Republican base even more than Trump does? Maybe he can order the state National Guard to attack and seize Legoland?


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