Welcome back to Sunday Four-Play! This is the fourth installment of this column and the third to feature a brand-new Donald Trump indictment (or superseding indictment). It wasn’t planned that way, of course—but man, I’ll take it. The only person who could possibly be more over the moon (over-the-moonier?) right now is the high bidder for the Krispy Kreme concession at Rikers Island.

At this rate, I estimate Donald Trump will be indicted 2,472 times before I retire, upload my consciousness into Mike Lindell’s Ring doorbell, and convince him Jesus has been ding-dong-ditching him every night and leaving dead raccoons on his front stoop. (As an incorporeal algorithm, I won’t be able to physically supply the raccoons, of course, but then that’s what GrubHub is for, isn’t it?)